Wednesday, 23 May 2012

What’s that on my head?

I appear to have hair growth! Soft, wispy, baby-type fuzz – but definitely still hair.

I’m a bit baffled by this as my eyelashes and eyebrows have significantly thinned out. But on the side of my head, which was completely bald, and in-between the last few remaining short strands on the top is a soft white-blonde down.

Obviously I’m pleased but still surprised that it’s started before I’ve finished the whole chemo treatment. Clearly the Docetaxel doesn’t affect those follicles in the same way the FEC did.

Anyway, it has cheered me up. I know it doesn’t sound much but I was starting to feel like I’d emotionally ‘jack-knifed’ and was struggling to get myself moving forward again.

A few things have contributed to this but certainly the fact that the ‘Marsden have said that they might have to push my operation date back because of the change to my chemotherapy schedule at Charing Cross has caused me a lot of anxiety.

So we’ve made a couple of calls this week and are still waiting for some answers. Charing Cross Hospital has confirmed that there will be NO chemotherapy treatments the w/c 4 June, so my final treatment will be Wednesday 13 June instead. The Royal Marsden has been informed and I am now waiting for the surgical team to let me know if I can still go ahead with surgery on Tuesday 3 July (being now slightly less than the minimum three week gap usually required) and, if I can’t, what the date will be.

The uncertainty is dreadful. When you’re plodding on through the treatment there really aren’t much in the way of ‘high’ points, so you fix on key milestones as an opportunity to plan other things or just breathe easy for a bit.

So I’d been thinking about the operation and how long I’d need to recover and, from there, when the radiotherapy dates would be. And then, all being well, I was getting excited about being able to go on holiday at the beginning of September (before Mr P.’s other commitments kick-in for the Autumn).

But for now, I can’t plan for anything – which makes me sad. And this is all due to one casual calendar change to meet the convenience of a hospital administrator or management team.

Even if it works out OK for me, and the ‘Marsden tell me they can honour the date, I’m still really annoyed with Charing Cross. Being on this treatment is hard enough without being mucked about.

So, to the NHS team who have bagsied themselves a whole week off. ‘Good for you – enjoy your holiday!’ At least you know when you’re getting one ...

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