Counting down

Hello, I’m back! I’ve had a busy couple of days. 

I’m taking full advantage of my renewed energy and cheerfulness to crack on and get things done before next week’s second bout of chemo. I’d almost forgotten what it was like to feel normal!

Well, I say normal. I don’t think I’ve been this positive in quite a while. It’s a lovely feeling. And me being in a good mood, means Mr P. is in a good mood ... and that’s good news for everyone! ;-)

The only side effect still noticeable is one that didn’t actually surface until this week: the horrible taste in my mouth. They say it tastes metallic but I think it’s more rancid than that – like something has crawled into my mouth and died. :-( It really is quite foul.

Apparently it’s the chemotherapy affecting the cells in the mouth cavity, which is why your sense of taste can change too. Someone suggested wine gums to take the taste away, which are acidic, so Mr P. bought me some Haribo and they do seem to work. But, honestly, with all these sweets and chocolate, I think I might shift the cancer and give myself diabetes!

I’ve also got a big weekend planned: twenty of us are off to the New Forest tomorrow for a Hen Weekend. I may report more of our shenanigans next week but a big thank you to Gemma (Bride-to-be) and Jayne (Bridesmaid) for making special concessions for me. Very much appreciated.

Walking on sunshine

I am in such a good mood today. I wish I could bottle it and save it for days when I don’t feel so great.

For a start, I had seven hours unbroken sleep last night – for the first time in three weeks. I had been waking up at least two or three times a night and getting up about 6am, but this morning I woke up after 7.

My headache is also pretty much gone, and manageable, and my energy levels are right back up to where they were pre-treatment.

I’m really hoping this lasts. It would be lovely to think that I can have eight more good days before we start the cycle again.

Back in the game

I think we’re winning. I’ve gone three whole days and am practically off the painkillers. (At least, for now!)

That’s not to say that I don’t still have head or stomach twinges but they’ve gradually got less and less. Even on Friday, I was still suffering from what I can only describe as constantly feeling a bit ‘car sick’, which got worse if I moved quickly or put my head down to read. I even tried those anti-sickness wristbands but, apart from making me look like an 80s tennis player, I really didn’t see the benefit ...

I don’t really know what’s been causing this. Apparently motion sickness can be a problem with some treatments because the toxicity can affect your inner ear and therefore your balance. It might also be a result of the infection, so I’ll discuss it with the Oncologist when I see him on the 13th.

However, I am feeling better and even managed to make it out to the pub last night. It was lovely to see everyone and, across the three hours, I even managed a whole half-pint of lager ... ;-)

To be honest though, I’ve gone right off the thought of alcohol and can’t imagine that changing for the foreseeable future. In fact, I think some of my friends find this the most disturbing part of my treatment!

And today I’ve had a really, wonderfully, mundane Sunday. Did laundry, went to the supermarket, cooked a roast dinner for Mr P. - all the run-of-the-mill, boring stuff that I just didn’t feel like doing before. It’s been great.

What day is it?

All the days are starting to blur. Every day feels like a Saturday ...

Fortunately though, a good number of my friends seem to work at home, on shifts, or have leave to use so I will never be short of company if I want some.

I’m also feeling MUCH better. I do still get slight stomach twinges and head pains but nothing like the horrors I experienced earlier in the week.

So it means I can actually ‘do’ stuff.  This morning I get to wait in for four hours (woo-hoo!) for my phone line to be fixed.  It had been broken for several days before I realised so apologies to anyone who thought I’d gone AWOL.

And then I’m off to lunch with Mrs M. Not seen her since before Christmas, so it will be nice to catch up.  Managed to get out yesterday too.  Met another friend for lunch and then pottered round the shops for an hour or so.

So I am getting about. My energy levels are generally good until about 4pm but then they start to fizzle and by 9.30pm I’m doing the blinky ‘I-can’t-keep-my-eyes-open’ thing.  It’s meant some adjustment in our eating times too.

I’ve also noticed that certain foods are a no-no. Bless him, Mr P. made me a really nice sweet and sour chicken the other day with the smallest amount of chilli in. It really wasn’t that hot to the taste but it really made me stomach sting – that’s how tender my insides are feeling.  So everything is still very much trial and error. 

However, I’m pleased to report that Penguin biscuits and Strawberry Split lollies hold no such hidden dangers ... ;-)

Keeping it in the family

None of my immediate female relatives have had breast cancer but apparently that doesn’t mean that my disease is not hereditary.

When I went to see my GP yesterday, he suggested that I should ask the hospital for a DNA test to see if I carry one of the ‘breast cancer genes’. I hadn’t really considered this before but, on reading some information from the Genetic Alliance, I’ve realised that this might not be such a pointless exercise.

It turns out that the faulty gene can be passed down the male line to female descendents. My father had one brother, and their father was an only child. However my Grandfather’s mother (also called Kate), died from - yes, you guessed it - breast cancer.

To be fair, she was 91 years old ... But it did get me thinking because my sister and I are the first females in that blood line since her. I think this requires further investigation ... !

What a difference a day makes

While I still woke up feeling a bit grotty, the improvement since yesterday has been significant. I’m actually starting to feel like myself again.

It’s had such an impact on my state of mind. Yesterday, I felt very low; the uncertainty of when, if ever(!), I was going to feel better had really dragged me down. Mr P. was worried too. When I get upset, he gets upset ... and that’s the last thing I want to see happen. 

So today, I’m feeling positive – if bloody tired.  I know I’ve still got a bit of a temperature but my sleep has been completely disrupted ever since the treatment last week.  I can’t seem to sleep in more than 2-4 hour bursts. It’s really odd. I wake up two or three times a night, and then nod off again.  But at least it means I get up early - (see, I said I was turning into an old lady!) – and can try to get a few things done. So, every cloud ... !

I’d also like to thank all the people who’ve emailed me or been commenting here on the blog or via Facebook, offering tips and words of encouragement. It’s really lovely to know that people are interested and genuinely care, even though we may not have seen each other for a while or maybe not physically met.

It’s a sad fact that cancer is something that will touch us all in some way.  Its indiscriminate nature makes us all equal. So, on that note, I just want to mention a good friend who had a mastectomy yesterday. Her breast cancer is a different type to mine and she is some years older than me, but that makes no difference to how I know she – and her family - will be feeling.

So, I hope you’ll join with me in wishing her a successful and speedy recovery. She’s a tough old boot ... and let’s be honest, it takes one to know one! :-)

Get well soon, Elaine. x

Oops!

Hmm. Turns out that pesky new thermometer was wrong and I did have a temperature - of 38C!

So thank God I went to the Doctors. Technically, had I realised, I should have gone straight to Ealing Hospital for antibiotics. But at least I have some now for what, I assume, is a bog standard ear, nose and throat infection - and some co-codamol for the pain. 

I'll need to phone Charing Cross tomorrow and tell them and that might also mean a blood test just to check my white cell count. We'll see ...

But, despite still being under-the-weather, I actually feel so much better to know that there's a reason why I've been feeling so bloody rotten. They do warn you about these things but, when you've never had chemotherapy before, it's impossible to know how you should or shouldn't be feeling.

So, that's me pill popping for another week.

(Oh, and I've bought another new thermometer ... and at £33 it had better be accurate!)