Monday 11 June 2012

The home straight

So we’re nearly there. Tomorrow I visit my Oncologist for the last time and start the drugs for what, we sincerely hope, will be my final chemotherapy session.

You’d think that I’d be feeling chipper about this. And of course, to some degree, I am. However it’s been a tough couple of months and the thought of returning to treatment after an extended break is proving much harder than I thought.

Even though we’re so near the end, this has definitely been one of the worst cycles. Not physically, although the nausea did last into the third week, but mentally and emotionally.

I feel a bit like a London marathon runner who’s floundered at 23 miles. You know, the bit under Tower Bridge where they’re all limping with a teary but determined look in their eye.

I really just want it all to be over. To have my hair and eyelashes, to have a normal routine and to just have my self-confidence back.

In truth though, I know that some things will never be as they were and that the long-term effects of this treatment do mean that some doors - like having children - could well be firmly closed to me.

That’s not definite, I will need to ask for various tests, but I suspect from the way my body is now behaving that my options could be very limited. So it’s been an introspective few days.

Fortunately, however, I do have lovely, lovely friends who have been on a mission to cheer me up. In the last two days alone, I have been out to the pub, to a baby shower (brilliant fun) and to TWO West End shows!

And tonight, it’s England’s opening match against France in Euro 2012. Mr P and I are very excited and will be watching the game, like
Howard and Hilda, in our new (and matching) England shirts.

I hope Roy Hodgson and the boys don’t let us down.

Me and Mr P. in front of the telly ... ;-)

1 comment:

  1. Sure, things may change but sometimes for the better - keep being positive as you have been for the past 6 months. Try not to look on what might have been but what WILL be and it will be great.