Wednesday, 24 October 2012

No pain, no gain?

Seriously. My newly inflated boob really hurts. The tissue expander is certainly doing its job.

It’s there because the final implant will go under the pectoral muscle, instead of over the top where the breast tissue once was, and the muscle needs to be stretched to get used to having something there.

The sensation really is distracting at times; at best, tight and sore and at worst, sharp and scratchy. The discomfort will die down, of course, as it did after its first inflation post-mastectomy but I had got used to not feeling uncomfortable and now I’ve got to go through that cycle again. (And for a third time in November). It affects the upper arm muscles too and can make it difficult to sleep.

And, my tit feels enormous! Very round and very firm ... but it doesn’t move and has no feeling, now that the nerve endings have been cut. It’s like having half a grapefruit stuck to my chest.

Fortunately, I have invested in some mastectomy bras (and a bikini for my holiday) that have a pocket for me to insert a gel ‘chicken fillet’ and balance what are now uneven sides. That does seem to work quite well and you’d never know through my clothes.

In fact, people tell me that I’m looking very well - which is nice - even though they also seem convinced that I’ve lost weight. (I haven’t) I think it’s just that, without my voluminous mane of hair, my short crop exaggerates how slight in build I am.

That won’t last though, because my barnet is coming through thick and fast and it won’t be long before I have to blow the dust off the hairdryer and straighteners.

And it also won’t be long before I return to work. I’ve got a meeting on Friday to discuss a phased return in November. Mr P. and I both agree that getting back into a routine will do me good, as I’m getting to be very, very lazy!

But before that happens, we’re going to go on holiday – a week in the US to mark the end of this chapter. We’re off to Las Vegas, baby, and I’m feeling lucky!

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