Saturday, 10 April 2021

Is no news, good news?

Frustratingly, I am still waiting on the complete histology report and CT scan results from King Edward VII hospital.

My consultant’s secretary has chased them up and I’m hopeful that I’ll get some answers next week. My GP has also arranged an appointment for a DEXA bone scan, 28 April, at St Mark’s Hospital in Harrow. No idea why I’ve got to travel so far for that - bit annoying - but it does allow me to add another hospital to the massive list I have already visited. If there was a ‘frequent flyer’ programme for NHS patients, I would certainly be a gold card holder.

In terms of recovery, I’m physically doing really well. My external wounds are really negligible; I’ve actually got worse scars from having moles removed. I can also do much more now like drive, go for longer walks and can lift small things.

However, I am EXHAUSTED. Absolutely shattered, all of the time. This will be a whole host of factors I know: internal healing, sudden hormone drop, psychological trauma ... etc.

Because, understandably, it has been quite the emotional wallop. I do sometimes find it catching up with me in an unguarded moment and having a little, but thankfully brief, cry. I also - much as I do love a bit of SU4C Bake Off - have to fast forward or leave the room whenever the ‘personal cancer stories’ come on. It all feels a bit too raw.

“Friendship is the only cement that will ever hold the world together.” – Woodrow Wilson


Thankfully, as I will never tire of saying, I do have truly fabulous friends who check in on me constantly, let me chunter on about my various issues and provide practical support and help.

It was such a tonic to catch up with the lovely Fi on Tuesday after my CT scan in Marylebone and then to come home and have little JR and his family round for tea in the garden.

As instructed, I had purchased ‘better’ garden games and some apple juice (as mango was not to his liking). We also ‘popped up’ a brand new gazebo. So, like a Phoenix risen from the ashes, a reincarnation of the ‘Winey House’ is now awaiting garden visitors/drinkers.

More good news came this week when my GP - on my second time of asking - finally conceded that a primary cancer diagnosis might make me eligible for a Covid vaccine. [It did seem ridiculous to me that I had to push the point on this when, if I was an overweight smoker I’d have already been offered one ... but I digress!]

So, I’ve had my first jab. AstraZeneca, if it’s relevant or anyone’s interested. I did feel bloody rotten for a bit - weirdly reminiscent of chemotherapy, actually. In particular, I woke up in the night with a headache, feeling sick and with dreadful stabbing pains in all my bones (like with Docetaxol - ugh!) - so I had to get up for my go-to chemo relief: paracetamol, sugary tea and toast with ginger jam.

It seemed to do the trick as when I woke up in the morning, the nausea and bone pain had gone and I just had a residual headache for a few more hours. My arm still really hurts though ... is that normal? My injection was Wednesday morning (more than 72 hours ago) and it still feels really heavy and sore.

Thankfully, I do still have a lorry load of Easter chocolate to eat my way through as a distraction. Someone had helpfully suggested that I ‘must have’ lost weight due to the hysterectomy but sadly, with the average uterus weighing less than 60g/3oz, I won’t be needing a new wardrobe just yet!

Just to put this in perspective, and because I obviously have too much time on my hands, here are some other things that Google tells me weigh c. 60g:
  • 1 x chicken egg
  • 1 x tennis ball
  • 1 x small kiwi fruit
  • 1 x scorpion
  • 1 x newborn raccoon
  • 1 x blueberry muffin
  • 3 x mice
  • 19 x teabags
Clearly I’ve no idea who has spent their time weighing scorpions or teabags but it’s a valuable point of reference. I thank you for your efforts.

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